Monday, November 15

Big miracles come in small packages...

Today was a good day.

I realized I've learned a lot about myself these past few weeks, difficult as some lessons may have been.

I've learned that even though I've overcome a lot of my perfectionistic tendencies, I've still got a lot to work on. I wanted everyone to be happy at a recent weekend with friends. For the most part I think everyone was, but that didn't keep me from worrying about taking care of and mothering everyone. On the third day I cried. I cried because I'd worked hard and everyone at least seemed happy--but me. I was exhausted. I had a panic attack, mild but still enough to get my blood pumping. I felt I just needed to go home and have a vacation from the vacation--no one's fault but my own. Note to self: next time remember it's okay to have some fun.

I've learned (again) that my Father in Heaven is in charge, and that I'm so thankful that he is. Last weekend I went to book store where I thought I was supposed to be signing copies of my novel. They sent me to another store where I'd already had a signing a few weeks before. Though I was happy to be there--the ladies there are an absolute delight--I soon learned that there was a reason I was supposed to be there a second time. My life was blessed and I'm thankful.

I've learned (again) that when a door shuts, one opens. Often times, mercifully, for me almost as soon as sorrow, despair, or disappointment comes crashing down, blessings begin to flutter in on the wings of angel friends. Cinnamon rolls and a note. A call. A letter. An email. A hug. A text. An unexpected gift, heartfelt.

I've learned (again) how sweet the voice of a friend can be in times of trouble. How wonderful and warm and honey-sweet it is to be loved by those you need. That sometimes when the angels who were sent into your life get tired of angeling, another is ready to step up and take their place. We just have to open our eyes and our hearts to see them.

I've learned (again) that I want to live the best life I can. I have much to be thankful for and I want to touch the lives of others for the best. I'm finding such peace in forgiveness, knowing that forgiveness is not acceptance and that I must to be true to my God and myself first of all. I can still love others even if they don't love me back.

I've learned that I'm stronger than I thought.

I've learned to celebrate seemingly small things because the little joys we discover are stepping stones that carry us across times of despair.
Big miracles indeed come in small packages.


Tamara Hart Heiner said...

LOL, I totally understand. We had similar situations on our last family vacation!

Lori said...

Life is what we make of it!:)

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